What did I tell ya, those muppets who run DCUK are clueless. I told ya the place would go down the carzy without me at the helm. They let those lowcarber anarchists wreck the place, Jesus it looks like hurricane Sandy’s been through the joint, what a bloody carve up. Bonkers and Nobhead what a pair of tossers, they couldn’t run a bloody whelk stall. Talking of whelks I like the cut of the jib of that new guy whelk, Christ he makes me look sane ! He is even madder than the Ediot !
I’ve told Desperate Dan I can be back in a couple of hours, I’ll sort these wingers and whiners out, they need a size 10 up their jackseys, strewth I can’t believe what I am seeing, and they had the bloody cheek, the bare face effrontery, to say I had lost the plot, their having a larf ain’t they. Give me ten minutes and a length of gas pipe and I’ll soon knock those fat guzzlers into shape. Jeez you can see why the Police force is going down the tubes, in my day we broke a few limbs then got nasty. We knew how to treat SCUM ! Get ya coat Sue we’ve got work to do, when I get my hands on Benny boy, he’ll wish they had brought back conscription, and he was out in Afghanistan staring down the barrel of an AK47. Good God almighty, how did they think they could survive without me, Sue get me pills before I blow a bleedin gasket, good grief, what a f**king balls up.
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