What started out as a fairly routine enquiry by Knacker and the Met, has blown up into a nationwide Police investigation. Knackers office has been overwhelmed with information regarding missing UK diabetes forum members. At a press conference last night a worried looking Knacker stated “ETYM is only the tip of the iceberg, it’s a minnow, close on 50,000 members have disappeared from diabetes.co.uk, the UK’s largest diabetes forum” Experts calculate the missing members could keep the UK pie and burger industry going for years, especially when so many are obese ! Knacker also said “we are talking about a huge amount of meat here, someone must know where it is being stored”
One great piece of news was announced at the press conference. The pasty under investigation contained no traces of Borofergie. Professor Emeritus Leopold Boffin of the Knobheadski Institute of Forensic Science announced last night, “the meat samples from the suspect pasty were definitely not Borofergie. The meat clearly showed a very high BG number and probably came from a diabetic that lived on toast and cornflakes, also, very high levels of the toxin Orlistat was present”
The Sun
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