Hi Doc, hi Eddie take a seat, what can I do for you today? I want to start using Insulin. Why is that? Because a guy called Nigel reckons it’s the best way to control my diabetes. But you have been controlling your diabetes perfectly for five years, what do think you will gain by going onto insulin ? Well, I will be able to eat lots of junk food, and I am worried about the long term effects of lowcarbing, Nigel reckons it makes you go bat shit ! Eddie, there has never been a major long term trial on the effects of a lowcarb diet re diabetes control, how would Nigel know what the effects of lowcarb are ! Is Nigel an expert on diabetes control ? No Doc, is he a long term well controlled diabetic ? No Doc. So how does he know? A bloke called Anthony Colpo told him. Ah, Colpo he is a diabetes expert ! No Doc. What is he ? He is a sort of body builder and weight lifter that writes on a blog. I see, but he is a well controlled long term diabetic? Err…..no Doc.
Eddie, you are one of the best controlled type two diabetics on my books, non diabetic HbA1c, good lipids, stable safe weight, >90 kidney GFR, and all 40 blood test markers in the normal range. Insulin will do nothing for you. In fact it could wreck what you have achieved over the last five years. Do you miss eating the food that made you ill, overweight and a type two diabetic ? No Doc. Do you realise you could lose your driving license, that all sorts of insurance costs could go thought the roof? Yes Doc. Do you realise many employers may not employ you as they see you as a health and safety risk? Yes Doc. Do you realise so many type two’s that go onto insulin gain weight and that leads back to high insulin resistance? Err….yes Doc.
Eddie, you do realise, there is no way I would put a patient with your non diabetic HbA1c status on Insulin don’t you? We don’t doll out potentially dangerous drugs to people that don’t need them. What about statins Doc ? Are you taking the piss Eddie ? You know me Doc. Eddie forget about using insulin, save it for a time you may need it, at the moment you are doing very well, take it from me it isn’t a get out of jail free card, and stop listening to the Nigel’s of this world. Tell me, this Nigel his surname isn’t Kinbrum is it? Yes. Jeez that bloke is a complete lunatic, he spends his entire life galloping around the blogosphere spouting complete nonsense, seriously he is a menace to society. You do know he is one of Evelyn Kocur’s eunuchs don’t you, yes Doc. Goodbye Eddie you’re wasting my time, sorry Doc it won’t happen again.
Doctor presses intercom button. Make a note on Mitchell’s records, the mans gone completely batshit !